Updated: Jan 9
*Disclaimer this story use the lore of the Wallstreetbets Subreddit, offensive content is not to be taken seriously, I hope these references are unharmful and to be joking in a inclusive way* This is the greatest of all tales, the most incredible story of our times.
Everybody thought that the age of the Great bears was over when Warlord Buffet and the Billionaire's council lost Airlineria City during the Big Dip war. There were just no way the bears had survived the spring of the Great Brrr.
It seemed like The Gods of Bets had placed their faith in Jeromahia the Powerful after the great QQQ battle at the gates of the All time’s Highs. Confidently, the Bulls from all over the world took positions, they thrived with their calls and longs and started rebuilding from the remainings ruins of the past bull markets. They rebuilt the infamous Hertz fortress and erected shrines in memory of the cruisers and tankers that fought with their lives in the Big Dip war.
The dark times were over but the stigmas were still there, the elite army of the Pow, the 500 SPartans were still fighting the savages from the KANGS GANGS at the great wall of the 3000’s and they still had to secure the gates of the All Times High’s. Nonetheless, that was enough for the bulls civilization to prosper and feel safe again, but the Gods of Bets weren’t duped they knew the prophecy of the L-Shaped recovery:
A young autist helped by an hero named Burry of the holly woods, shall resolve the enigma of the Negative Rates, he then shall defeat Jeremiah the Powerful and cast his power into the hearth of the Printer itself, if he failed before the great judgment day of the election, the balance of the world shall perish with all the puts and the shorts that were ever created. To save the world the chosen shall survive the terrible green fields of mar-a-lago, fight the looters gangs of the darklands, run from the un-defundable pigs of the blue seas and win the impossible debates against the rednecks of the south Klans. Only then, he will know if he shall live or perish within the fate of the last quants-easingers.
I'm gonna lead the red army in front of the gates of the all times highs, and defeat the printer once and for all. I''m burry of the holly woods and this is my story.
I’m the gayest bear of them all, the asexual autistic founder of the Zero Hedge Guild, the defender of the puts and shorts, the slayer of the quant-easingers, and I'm afraid. I’m afraid that I will not be able to guide the chosen one throughout the fight for the rebalance of the puts and the calls and free us all from the evils of the printer itself.